Therapy.

I offer psychodynamic therapy in Maidstone, Kent and online via video call.

Anxiety, depression and emotional disruption can manifest in many different ways: difficulty sleeping, loss of appetite, lack of enjoyment in favoured activities, lessening attention span, loss or lack of identity, difficulty in clear thought or intrusive thoughts to name just a few. At times it's not clear why we feel the way we do: perhaps you are feeling overwhelmed or empty, or are engaging in patterns of behaviour which are negatively affecting your life. Conversely you may be all too aware of events or relationships which are affecting your mental wellbeing and wish to explore these in a supportive and nurturing environment. The therapy I offer focuses on the exploration of ourselves, who we are and what we have experienced with a view to better understanding, challenging and releasing hidden emotions, conflict and tension.

We sometimes feel that there is something wrong with us because we feel that we cannot cope with life or that we have feelings we cannot handle or a numbness which disconnects us from others and ourselves. When we have a better understanding of our past and the context of our lived experience then we can better understand that there is nothing wrong with us and that we are having very normal reactions to the things we have experienced.

Through therapy we aim to gain an honest understanding of our lives and our genuine feelings towards our past and present, when we become aware of our hidden feelings we can process them and release ourselves from their impact. Inner strength comes from feeling whole, understanding and accepting the good and the bad: our past trauma does not need to define us, but it is also an important part of understanding who we are. Emotional disruption can arise when we do not fully understand or process our experiences and relationships, we often protect ourselves by hiding our true feelings towards individuals, events and even ourselves. Ignoring our emotions does not mean they go away, unwanted emotions are like lightning: they will ground themselves somewhere, often expressing themselves in undesirable ways. The better we understand our emotions, and what they are truly a reaction to, the better we can become at regulating and challenging them. 

Once we have a better understanding of ourselves and our past we can begin to review the image we have of ourselves. A large contributing factor to who we believe we are is our experiences and relationships, for example if we have experienced a childhood which has felt unloving then we may believe that we are undeserving of love or are unlovable. If we are told we are good, bad, funny, lazy, smart, or kind then we can take these traits on and force them on ourselves whether they are true and appropriate or not. We see ourselves in others and how they respond to us but other people are not always good reflections of who we truly are, nonetheless we carry these reflections with us and take them at face value. Through therapy we try to unpick this and understand how much of our self image has been imposed onto us by relationships and events and look deeper into who we authentically are. 

When we have a better idea of who we authentically are then we are much better equipped to navigate the challenge of relationships with others. A weak or depleted sense of self can easily get washed away by other people's wants or needs: it's hard to set boundaries when we don’t know where our boundaries are and it can be hard to feel understood in relationships when we don’t fully understand ourselves.

I work by having an initial session, which is an opportunity for us to meet and discuss you, your past, your present and what has brought you into therapy. Within this session we will discuss fees, the therapeutic frame and the practicalities of our work. We will then have further sessions at an agreed fee, time and place. I tailor my work to the individual so these sessions have no set agenda, they form an opportunity for me to hear from you about your life and you can get a feel for how I work.

I offer long-term, open ended therapy on a weekly basis. This means that we do not agree an end date for the therapy, we will continue until a point when you feel you wish to bring our work to a close. I also offer short-term therapy over 12 weekly sessions which will have a set and agreed end date. Short term therapy is normally most helpful for a particular issue which you wish to address and tends to be focussed on or around the issue for the duration of the 12 sessions. If you're unsure which type of therapy is going to be most helpful then this is something which we can discuss and agree in our initial sessions.

Normally our sessions will be at the same time on the same day each week, they will last 50 minutes and I charge £55 for an initial session.  I only work with my clients on a weekly basis, I do not offer fortnightly or monthly sessions, this is because when the space between the sessions becomes too large then the effect of our work is dramatically reduced. Our sessions will be confidential and will be held in a private space, if we are working remotely via video call you will need to ensure you have access to a private space where you will be undisturbed. 

The content of our sessions is within your control, what we speak about will be decided by you, I am there to explore, reflect and be with your emotions.